


Lungs

by Thousand_Sweet_Kisses



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-12
Updated: 2013-03-21
Packaged: 2017-12-05 01:53:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/717502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thousand_Sweet_Kisses/pseuds/Thousand_Sweet_Kisses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Songfics to "Lungs" by Florence and the Machine. Was posted on FF.net but they took it down, so now i'm posting it here. Let me know what you think of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Note

Lungs

Intro

A collection of short stories based on the Album “Lungs” by Florence and the Machine.

Author’s Note: I was listening to this Album when I started writing _A Marine’s Return_ and was struck by how many of these songs fit Jibbs in one way or another so I started writing one shots for them. Then I decided to post them together instead of separately. Posted as each chapter is finished (some songs are more difficult than others). Suggestions are always welcomed!

Note: songs are done in album order and may take place in a different part of the Jibbs relationship. Format for each one may also be different. Each piece will be titles after the song on the album and contain the lyrics.


	2. Dog Days Are Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set to the first track on the CD "Lungs"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right after Jen left Jethro in Paris. Told from her POV.

Dog Days Are Over

 _Happiness, hit her like a train on a track_  
Coming towards her, stuck still no turning back  
She hid around corners and she hid under beds  
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled  
With every bubble she sank with a drink  
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

She had never felt this happy before. The love she felt for this man hit her all at once; the first time she watched him work on his boat. She knew she shouldn’t fall for her boss but she couldn’t help it; she gave in; she kissed him and he kissed her back. Then the fear hit her and she ran. She ran; leaving a coat and letter behind. She let her happiness, her love wash away down the kitchen sink. __  
  
The dog days are over  
The dog days are done  
The horses are coming  
So you better run  
  
Run fast for your mother run fast for your father  
Run for your children for your sisters and brothers  
Leave all your love and your longing behind you  
Can't carry it with you if you want to survive

She ran. She ran to get vengeance (though she told herself it was justice) for her father; for the siblings she never had the chance to have. She left the love she felt behind. She left the longing to go back to him behind her. She couldn’t take those with her if she wanted to survive. __  
  
The dog days are over  
The dog days are done  
Can you hear the horses  
'Cause here they come

 __  
And I never wanted anything from you  
Except everything you had  
And what was left after that too. oh.

And yet she still wanted him. The desire would hit her when she least expected it. At night she would dream that he came after her and gave her everything she ever wanted and everything that was left. __  
  
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back  
Struck from a great height  
By someone who should know better than that

One day she was shot during the course of her work; she should have been dead if not for Ziva’s timely push, that sent her to the ground; causing the bullet to enter her shoulder and not her heart. She realized as she fell to the ground that she never should have left. She should have never left her happiness; her love. __  
  
The dog days are over  
The dog days are gone  
Can you hear the horses  
'Cause here they come  
  
Run fast for your mother and fast for your father  
Run for your children for your sisters and brothers  
Leave all your love and your longing behind you  
Can't carry it with you if you want to survive  
  
The dog days are over  
The dog days are gone  
Can you hear the horses  
Because here they come  
  
The dog days are over  
The dog days are gone  
Can you hear the horses  
Because here they come

She wanted to go back to him; back to how they were, but her stubborn pride kept her where she was. That is until an offer came that could let her get her “justice” and place her back into hid company.

She took it and became the Director of NCIS.


	3. Rabbit Heart (Raise it Up)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second track; second Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This happens during Kill Ari Part 1, after the conversation on the stairs. Keeps with Cannon.

Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)

 _The looking glass so shiny and new_  
How quickly the glamor fades  
I start spinning slipping out of time  
Was that the wrong pill to take (Raise it up)  
You made a deal and now it seems you have to offer up  
But will it ever be enough  
(Raise it up raise it up)  
It's not enough  
(Raise it up raise it up)  
Here I am a rabbit hearted girl  
Frozen in the headlights  
It seems I´ve made the final sacrifice  
We raise it up this offering  
We raise it up  
This is a gift it comes with a price  
Who is the lamb and who is the knife  
Midas is king and he holds me so tight  
And turns me to gold in the sunlight  
I look around but I can't find you  
(Raise it up)  
If only I could see your face  
(Raise it up)  
I start rushing towards the skyline  
(Raise it up)  
I wish that I could just be brave  
I must become a lion hearted girl  
Ready for a fight  
Before I make the final sacrifice  
We raise it up this offering  
We raise it up  
This is a gift it comes with a price  
Who is the lamb and who is the knife  
Midas is king and he holds me so tight  
And turns me to gold in the sunlight  
Raise it up raise it up  
(Repeat)  
And in the spring I shed my skin  
And it blows away with the changing wind  
The waters turn from blue to red  
As towards the sky I offer it  
This is a gift it comes with a price  
Who is the lamb and who is the knife  
Midas is king and he holds me so tight  
And turns me to gold in the sunlight  
(Repeat)  
This is a gift

The song played on the radio as Gibbs drove himself and the Director to his house. They were supposed to be finishing a conversation but the words needed to do that were not coming and She had turned on the radio after a few minutes of silence. The sung rand true with both of them and they both flashed back to the conversation on the stairs.

_“Special Agent Gibbs! On the job its Director Shepard or Ma’am.”_

_“Okay. What about off the job?”_

_“There won’t be any off the job?”_

The song was right. What they had was a gift and it did come with a price: their hearts. Hearts that would never be theirs any more. Their hearts belonged to the other now; they had for the past six years. Even if she left him with only a note, she still had his heart. And after his marriage to Stephanie, he knew she always would.

The price for her heart was that no matter who she was with, she would always compare them to him; and they would always fall flat. He had something the others didn’t. And even after all this time, she still didn’t know what it was. The two guys she had tried to date in the past six years were good men, very good men. But they weren’t the man who had her heart.

Regardless she needed to move past it. There could be no relationship between them without shooting NCIS in the shoulder or worse: the head.

Their love for each other would have to remain in the past, in the memories they shared, in the fact that she could still read him just as well as he could read him.

And yet still; that love would led both to make the final sacrifice. They would both go above and beyond the call for the other. Jen knew that she would happily die to keep him safe. Just as Jethro knew that he would do anything to keep her alive; he couldn’t lose he too. He had already lost so much that any more would be beyond cruel and he knew he would never recover. He wouldn’t want to.

But they would always have Paris. 


	4. I'm Not Calling You a Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Third track of the CD.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This one is pretty short. Told from Jethro’s POV about Jen’s return as Director and her comment about there being no off the job. Kinda Angsty, but ends on a positive note.

I’m Not Calling You a Liar

 _I'm not calling you a liar,_  
Just don't lie to me.  
I'm not calling you a thief,  
Just don't steal from me.  
I'm not calling you a ghost,  
Just stop haunting me.  
And I love you so much,  
I'm gonna let you  
Kill me.

You are no liar Jen; until you said those words. I knew because you’re right eye twitched. You are also no thief; you didn’t steal my heart and shatter it like you thought; I gave it to you and it beats inside of you. No ghost are you and yet you still haunt me. The look in your eyes when we said we loved each other, the way you lips felt against mine and how they tasted. And because I loved you so much; I let you go. Even though I knew that it would kill me. I loved you so much; I let you kill me. __  
  
There's a ghost in my lungs  
And it sighs in my sleep,  
Wraps itself around my tongue,  
As it softly speaks.  
And it walks, and it walks, with my legs,  
To fall, to fall, to fall at your feet.

The ghosts of our memories makes me sigh in my sleep; it has me talk like you were lying next to me. Has me dream of walking to you and falling at your feet telling you what the ghost wants to say, what it needs to say. But my pride keeps me in my bed, only to dream the same dream the next night. __  
  
There but for the grace of God go I,  
And when you kiss me, I'm happy enough to die.

I want to kiss you or you to kiss me. If that should happen I could die a happy death, __  
  
I'm not calling you a liar,  
Just don't lie to me.  
And I love you so much,  
I'm gonna let you  
I'm not calling you a thief,  
Just stop,  
And I love you so much,  
I'm gonna let you, Ohh,  
I'm not calling you a ghost,  
Just stop...

Make up your mind. When I see you I see that you lied that first night. I see that you stole my heart. That you too have ghosts hanging out with you. Just stop haunting me and make up your mind. Chose me or leave me. __  
  
There's a ghost in my mouth  
And it talks in my sleep,  
Wraps itself around my tongue  
As it softly speaks,  
Then it walks, then it walks,  
Then it walks with my legs,  
To fall (x11)  
To fall, at your feet.  
  
There but for the grace of God go I,  
And when you kiss me, I am happy enough...  
  


Eventually the ghost wins and I find myself falling at your feet. Driving to your townhouse, knocking at your door, waiting for the door to open. The door opens and all I can do is stare.

“I missed you Jen.” I say again and watch as your eyes soften and feel your hand as it cups my cheek.

“I missed you to Jethro. I should not have told you no off the Job, but I was nervous about my new post. Can you forgive me? I lied to you, stole your heart, and haunted your dreams and killed you”

“Forgiveness is unnecessary Jen. You are no liar; I knew what you wanted me but wanted your job. You are no thief; I gave my heart to you; you did not take it. And you are no ghost, because you are here in front of me right now. I loved, no, _love_ you so much that I let you leave even if it killed me, because you thought you needed to leave. Now kiss me, kiss me and never stop.”

“My pleasure Jethro,”

I watch as you lean in and press your lips to mine and in that instant I realized that I did indeed fall at your feet and you fell to mine. I knew that we would never let each other go again.


	5. Howl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From Jenny's POV

Howl

 _If you could only see the beast you've made of me_  
I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free  
Screaming in the dark, I howl when we're apart  
Drag my teeth across your chest to taste your beating heart  
  
My fingers claw your skin, try to tear my way in  
You are the moon that breaks the night for which I have to howl  
My fingers claw your skin, try to tear my way in  
You are the moon that breaks the night for which I have to  
  
Howl, howl  
Howl, howl  
  
Now there's no holding back, I'm making to attack  
My blood is singing with your voice, I want to pour it out  
The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound  
I hunt for you with bloody feet across the hallowed ground  
  
Like some child possessed, the beast howls in my veins  
I want to find you, tear out all of your tenderness  
  


 _And howl, howl_  
Howl, howl  
  
Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers  
Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters  
Hunters, hunters, hunters  
Hunters, hunters, hunters  
  
The fabric of your flesh, pure as a wedding dress  
Until I wrap myself inside your arms I cannot rest  
The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound  
I hunt for you with bloody feet across the hallowed ground  
  
And howl  
  
Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers  
Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters  
  
A man who's pure of heart and says his prayers by night  
May still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright  
  
If you could only see the beast you've made of me  
I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free  
The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound  
I hunt for you with bloody feet across the hallowed ground  
  


That song is stuck in my head. I don’t know why I ever drank that much bourbon out in public before. I have to remember to thank Jethro for taking me home. . . Wait I am not an _my_ house but his. Interesting. I check myself; same clothes I wore yesterday in pretty much the same spot. So I didn’t come onto him while drunk. _Or he knew you would regret it and didn’t take you up on whatever you offered him in your drunken state._ The thought popped unbidden in her mind. She knew it was true, if Jethro wanted her at all, he wanted her sober. But did he want her still?

Again the song from last night filtered through her head. It was about how once love had bitten you and left; you’re never the same. And you are only comfortable in the other’s arms.

Well that was true. None of her other lovers could do it for her after the first few times they slept together. She would always compare those experiences to her experiences with Jethro. And Jethro always won. Eventually she stopped trying. And at night she succumbed to the beast commonly known as a hormonal lonely woman.

 _I want him._ She realized. _I’ll always want him_. The revelation caused her to get out of bed. But the act of sitting up caused her head to scream out in protest. She eased herself out of the bed and looked around to get her bearings. She spotted a glass of water and a couple aspirin on the nightstand. She gratefully took the water and the pills before heading down the stairs into the kitchen. Waiting her was an empty kitchen and a steaming cup of coffee on the table.

Jen picked it up and blew on it to cool it off. She sipped the hot, caffeinated hot beverage as she made her way down to the basement. When she reached the bottom of the stairs she saw Jethro rolling up the sleeping pad he issued as a Marine. He too had a steaming cup of coffee near him, on the bench by the boat hull.

“Did I make a fool of myself last night Jethro?”

“Well if you count getting drunk and trying to hit on me, then yeah you made a fool out of yourself Jen.”

“Why am I here Jethro?”

“I didn’t want you that drunk by yourself.”

“Okay then.” They both sipped from their cups, letting the silence surround them.

“Is there a reason you didn’t take me up on my attempted advances?” She asked him

“Yeah there is. If you want me, I want you to ask me when you’re sober.”

I slinked off the chair I had sat in and walked towards him. I got in his face like he so often got in mine.

“And if I did come onto you when sober; would you take me up on my advances then?”

“Hell Yes I would Jen.”

“As a one night stand, a fling, just sex? Or would it have to be something more substantial?”

“It would be whatever you wanted Jen.” By now his voice was husky and his eyes were dark with lust.

“I would like a specific answer Jethro, as flattering as that one was. Strings or no strings?”

“Jen I just need you in my life. Anything after that is just a bonus.”

“So you want me, but you are willing to let me led for a time?”

“You trying to tell me something Jen?”

“I’m telling you I was wrong. I was wrong to leave you and I was wrong to tell you no off the job. I’m yours Jethro, I always have been. Take me back?”

“Always Jen.” He swooped me up into his arms while gluing his mouth to mine. In the past six years I had never done his kisses justice in my memories. His mouth is firm and hot. His tongue is insistent in its exploration of my mouth.

My nails claw at his back as he lifts me up in the air. I am trying to tear my way into him so I’ll never be apart from him. I am no longer holding back, I will attack him and mark him as mine. HE IS ALL MINE!!!! The chains I wrapped around myself and the ropes tied to me are no more. I am unbound, try to catch me. I will only be yours. Hunt me down and I am yours.


	6. Kiss with a Fist

Kiss With A Fist

 _You hit me once_  
I hit you back  
You gave a kick  
I gave a slap  
You smashed a plate  
Over my head  
Then I set fire to our bed  
  
You hit me once  
I hit you back  
You gave a kick  
I gave a slap  
You smashed a plate  
Over my head  
Then I set fire to our bed  
  
My black eye casts no shadow  
Your red eye sees no pain  
Your slaps don't stick  
Your kicks don't hit  
So we remain the same  
Blood sticks, sweat drips  
Break the lock if it don't fit  
A kick in the teeth is good for some  
A kiss with a fist is better than none  
A-woah a kiss with a fist is better than none  
  
Broke your jaw once before spilt your blood upon the floor  
You broke my leg in return  
Sit back and watch the bed burn  
Well love sticks, sweat drips  
Break the lock if it don't fit  
A kick in the teeth is good for some  
A kiss with a fist is better than none  
A-woah a kiss woth a fist is better than none  
  
You hit me once  
I hit you back  
You gave a kick  
I gave a slap  
You smashed a plate over my head  
Then I set fire to our bed  
  
You hit me once  
I hit you back  
You gave a kick  
I gave a slap  
You smashed a plate over my head  
Then I set fire to our bed  
  


This song fits us, I think as I drive behind your town car. In charge of Security and protection detail for the evening. I want a secondary car in case something goes wrong. The rest of the team is in the backseat, except Dinozzo, who’ in the car with you.

My mind thinks back to the past week. It’s been Hell for all of us, because of the fighting we’ve been doing. Hell, we’ve been at each other’s throats; calling in low blows about Paris and poking at the other’s insecurities until both of us either want to shoot of fuck the other. Most of the time I just want to push you against the wall and take you harder then you’ve ever been taken before. Ziva, sitting in the passenger seat, turns up the volume on this song until the lyrics are pounding into my skull. Once again I am struck by how well this fits us.

We do things both professionally and personally to piss the other off and ruin their day. It’ll never stop because we won’t just come out and admit that we want each other, that we miss the other, the we love the other. We just can’t say these words, these phrases to the other, it’ll mess us up. But if we keep doing this we’re not going to have a bed to lie in, we will only have a grave and ashes. Sometimes I start it by pissing someone off, sometimes you do it by calling something into question, but it’s usually me.

Once the fight starts there are no blows held back or softened. No holds barred, is the phrase.

This cycle will continue until someone breaks, and all I know is that it won’t be me.


End file.
